Job Securing Tip #19: Your Children Are Watching 24/7
December 31st, 2009
How effectively we manage our careers and surrounding lives will determine not only the quality of our lives but, also, what opportunity (outside of transferring wealth) we give our children to succeed in and enjoy their lives. In reality, life is a seamless continuum where a family’s lifestyle inexorably shapes each following generation’s family lifestyle – far more stealthfully than we realize, or are often willing to admit.
…too few parents understand that their role model responsibilities extend throughout every waking hour of every living day…
The imperative lesson to note here is that our children learn more from what they see their parents doing on a daily 24/7 basis than from being told by their parents from time to time what to do in life. This, of course, re-brands the parents’ historic retort, “Do what I say and not what I do” as pure hypocrisy. The reality of the situation is that too few parents understand that their role model responsibilities extend throughout every waking hour of every living day. Yes, parents generally preach the obvious intangibles of be good, avoid evil, be honest and take care of your fellow man, etc. to their children. However, this is the equivalent to seeing the tip of an iceberg relative to identifying with the full spectrum of parental role model responsibility.
What lies below the surface is a mass of infrequently considered parental role model focal points; for example – following is a sampling of the parental behavior elements our children inherently react to (positively and negatively) in their daily lives that parents often fail to see in themselves:
…resolve to perfect your role model living patterns a little each day because this is the most effective and rewarding ‘home schooling’ available to your children…
To what degree our children constructively emulate the above listed parental behavior patterns will to a large degree determine the ultimate quality of their lives. Because it is New Year’s resolution time of the year, resolve to perfect your role model living patterns a little each day because this is the most effective and rewarding “home schooling” available to your children.
7 Responses to “Job Securing Tip #19: Your Children Are Watching 24/7”
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Well said, Jim. Hopefully, I have emulated some of what you’ve written in bringing up my two great boys (now 27 and 23). I’m proud of both of them. At times, it’s creepy how much of me has rubbed off on them. Fortunately, neither chose this industry as a career. Their Mother was a significant influence on them, as summer vactions were spent with her. Being a teacher, she had the time to spend with them during my busiest time of the year. We’ve made a good team. (I wonder how many Superintendent/Teacher couples there are out there? I can think of 3 pair off the top of my head.)
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Chris Tritabaugh Reply:
January 1st, 2010 at 7:35 pm
John,
I know of a number of Superintendent teacher combos. In fact my wife and I are one. Although she is currently a stay at home mom, her degree is in early childhood education. She loves it and as our children get older I suspect she will go back to teaching.
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Jerry Coldiron Reply:
January 2nd, 2010 at 6:31 am
John and Chris, My wife Susan is also a teacher (30 yrs.) We always joked we balanced each other during stress and busy times. No question some truth to that, and we have also noticed over our careers the supt-teacher marriage is an interesting phenomenon. Great points by Jim, and something I actually plan to share with my 3 boys since they are quickly growing into men. Hope all is well and everyone has a blessed 2010!
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Jim,
What a fantastic post! I owe just about everything I am today to the way I was raised by my parents. When it came to the big things in life my parents never told my siblings and I what not to do and they never needed to. Rather they set the most beautiful example of how to live our lives and be good people and contributing members of society. My brother, sister and I are all successful in our careers and our personal lives just as my parents were and continue to be.
If my wife and I can do half the job of raising our children as my mom and dad did for us, we will have done very well indeed.
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Jim – I was reading a book recently where it was proclaimed, “The first half of too many of our lives was wrecked by our parents, and the second half spoiled by our children…”. Seems like you’ve spelled out a plan where if the first half of that statement is true, we can do something to make sure the second half isn’t.
A comment to Chris’s post: We hear too often how horrible parents are and not often enough what a great job many do and the sacrifices they make. I would only add that if you feel as Chris does, make sure to TELL your parents that you love them and SAY THANKS while you can. I did, thankfully, because both are gone now.
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Jim McLoughlin Reply:
January 2nd, 2010 at 12:13 am
EVERYONE:
I have spent the 25-plus years of my career in golf associating primarily with capable, high earning, successfully very busy men (by the hundreds) because these are the men who drive golf’s private club sector and development industry.
Being as busy as they were, their families and children often slipped away from these men. You will never see a more pathetic/sorrowful group of men than those who short-changed their children looking back in their declining years to see the mess they made of their children’s lives. You don’t want to be there as I saw many of these men drink their lives away – mostly alone. JMcL
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Jim,
These values extend beyond the family. Our staff at the golf course, friends, associates as well as the public at large. Very good clarification of the important issues.
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