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Rough draft... Unreasonable voicesFor years psychiatry has been called the impossible profession. But the folks who maintain golf courses for a living have the head shrinkers beat when it comes to dealing with certified nuts. Perhaps, though, the following rules will help greenkeepers survive in their current posts. They also should help everyday golfers appreciate the pressures that superintendents face. Consider this a survival guide, strictly by the numbers. » Ninety-nine percent of golfers have no idea what superintendents actually do for a living. They haven't been to the maintenance office. They don't understand the difference between tending a lawn and tending a golf course. And yet golfers don't hesitate to offer their advice on matters far more technical than anything they likely deal with themselves. Trouble ensues when trained scientific professionals are forced to take their marching orders from neophytes and wannabes. » Thirty percent of all members at private clubs actually can't afford to be members and continually offer resistance to any upgrading or improvement for fear the changes will be costly and reveal them to be financially overcommitted. So they resist. Worse, such people tend to be the ones who most use (or abuse) their privileges in a desperate attempt to justify their membership. Further obstruction is accounted for by... Thirty percent of all members at private clubs actually can't afford to be members and continually offer resistance to any upgrading or improvement...» The 90/10 rule, which argues that dedicated club professionals (managers, directors of golf and superintendents), along with club boards, spend 90 percent of their time defending themselves and answering the complaints of 10 percent of the members. The resulting paralysis overlooks the fact that the vast majority of the membership is quiet, supportive and willing to follow if persuasive, thoughtful and accurate arguments can be arrayed on behalf of a sensible plan. But the majority is bullied by the vocal 10 percent. Efforts to persuade that 10 percent are further impeded by the fact that... » Five percent of that minority membership is always disgruntled, as it seems their chief goal in life is to make everyone else miserable. These people can't be persuaded of anything, and trying to engage them in rational conversation is a fruitless enterprise. They must not be allowed to serve on any board-level committees. As for specific progress on course conditioning, a reasonable sense of the actual maintenance at one's home course is scarcely possible because of some simple facts of life. To start with... » Four or five low-handicap golfers at every club tend to be the source of the most incessant and detailed complaining regarding maintenance. They play their golf together in the same little clique, travel widely to other first-rate clubs and visit the latest and greatest courses throughout the country. They also tend to subscribe to (and worse yet, even read) the professional trade journals and study innovative techniques for drainage and aeration, trendy turfgrass cultivars and innovative products such as bunker liners. Not that they could come within a mile of getting any of this stuff right themselves, but they are all, in essence, that most venomous of country club species: the green committee chair in waiting. Four or five low-handicap golfers at every club tend to be the source of the most incessant and detailed complaining regarding maintenance.They tend to bombard the board and the superintendent as well as the golf professional with their superficial knowledge. And they tend to carry a certain weight with unsuspecting higher-handicappers because of their golf games and their appearance of being golf worldly. They also tend to be Shakespearean (if not Machiavellian operatives) in their approach to club politics. The only way to counteract them is to be blessed with... » Six or seven sensible members who take on the role of humble and committed leaders to infuse the club with a modicum of sensibility. No one should underestimate the time, politics and energy required to pull this off successfully, but no club can function well without a half-dozen golfers of mixed handicaps who become stewards of the club, its history, traditions and its professional staff. Without this protective cover, the good folks at any facility don't stand a chance. » Eighteen years is about the shelf life of even the best superintendent at any club. After that tenure, the folks who hired the greenkeeper are no longer on the board and certain loyalty gives way to a “change the furniture” mentality – usually uttered in terms of “it's time to go to the next level.” It's a generational shift. Besides, by that time, the greenkeeper is probably making more money than half the membership, and the folks on the board are the same snot-nosed youths whom the greenkeeper chased off the course years ago. Now they've grown up and are set to take their revenge. When that dynamic sets in, it's hard to reverse the tide of adverse sentiment. Maintenance certainly has its ups and downs – such as the fact golfers tend to look down on the ground at their home club, and look up in the air and all around when they play elsewhere. It turns out that golfers see all of the little details and blemishes at their own course, whereas on the road they enjoy the long views and skip over whatever flaws might be there. Now if only golfers could enjoy their home courses as much as they enjoy being elsewhere, some balance and rationality might rule course maintenance. · Editor-at-Large Bradley S. Klein can be reached at bklein@turfnet.com.
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