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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

Rockbottum Philosophy

The Chill Watch

Thanks to modern wearable technology, it's possible for the average technoid to quickly identify and nullify harmful stress triggers. Just cleverly mate an advanced wristwatch with your hand computer and reap the benefits!  For more info, watch the following short film.  
Rockbottum Philosophy

When That Day Comes

There are subtle clues that surface when one is nearing a career shift or even retirement phase.  These clues, often manifested by certain actions or statements normally suppressed during peak career, can become visible during what Rockbottum CC scholars call "Too Much Time In The Saddle".  Here are a few examples*, along with a short training film, circa 2016. Fester N. Boyle, Green Chairman, approaches while you are hastily repairing a giant irrigation break and says, "Willy, you're almos
Podcast

Hoban's Digital Ball Secrets

This episode of Rockbottum Radio is a hybridized Podcast/Radio Show starring Mark Hoban, the Jedi Master of golf turf.  He forced his way into our studio and demanded we tell the truth about his USGA Metrics Ball methods and results.  We managed to trick him into going to lunch early so we could complete the show and slip in a bonus Story Time. Presented by DryJect. Randy mentions the film, Chasing Rivermont, with Mark Hoban. We embedded it below:  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

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Rockbottum Philosophy

Take The Official Golf Aptitude Test

Are you sure you're working in the right job?  Take the Official Rockbottum CC Aptitude Test and find out exactly where you belong in the golf industry. Scenario #1    You are repairing an irrigation break in the middle of the fairway on a crowded Friday afternoon in the heat of August.  Several greens are burning.  Golfers repeatedly demand that you move, as you are in great danger.  Do you:    A. Move to the left rough and cower behind a tree. B. Fearlessly remain in the center of
Rockbottum Philosophy

Countering "Stressure" With The Wayback Machine

"Stressure"     That's what happens when you combine job stress with August.  In order to counter stressure, we look forward to autumn, early winter and family time during the upcoming holidays. Here at The Rock, we have a tradition that involves looking back in order to survive the last few weeks of summer:  We reach into the vault and share video artifacts from way back.  Not only will this stabilize your brainwaves, but folks brand new to golf can learn what to expect during a typical da
Skeletal Golf Theory

Lightning Strike Detection

Have you noticed an increase in rainfall amounts?  Here at Rockbottum CC, we are convinced it's due to cloud-seeding carried out by companies like SOAR or Seeding Operations Atmospheric Research.  Just like steroids have side effects, when a storm gets all artificially jacked up, stuff happens:  Heavy rain, more wind damage and  . . . lightning. That's why we at Rockbottum CC are leading the way in the area of Lightning Detection.  
Podcast

Rockbottum Radio: Attack of the Screenagers

Things get a little touchy at Rockbottum Country Club as all sorts of factors converge to create a divisive, unstable golf course environment. Economic pressures mount, new regulations choke the workflow and another screenager joins the crew, driving Momma to the point of madness. Okay, maybe it's just a short putt.
Boots & Ruck Films

Are You A "Soft" Man?

What's really behind the "Soft Man" epidemic?  Why are dogs so happy?  Do you know how to counter the CGC, or the "Chronic Golf Complainer"? Learn the answers to these questions, plus Uncle Obie reveals how to never get lost in the woods.  All this and more, on Rockbottum CC.  
Podcast

Rockbottum Lost A Family Member

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, we pay tribute to Matt Jones, longtime member of Rockbottum, former Golf Course Superintendent, GM, US Army vet and more. In the second half of the show, we experience a rather severe outbreak of gossip, back-biting, name-calling and false witness bearing, which leads to Momma finding a solution to this current social media plague.
Rockbottum Philosophy

Heatherns At The Gate

Do you secretly watch Rockbottum CC, the longest running webisode on the entire internet?  You're not alone.  If you're new here, try to follow these rules and your job will be safe:  Never admit you watch, even to your most trusted associates.  Don't admit actually  knowing anyone from Rockbottum . . . and never, ever say anything in the comment section.        Now watch this film or I'll tell Momma.             
Skeletal Golf Theory

Countering The Invasive Species

My first encounter with invasive species on the golf course was with the Russian Thistle, a thorny, rolling, seed-spreading bush commonly called The Tumbleweed.  It happened on a raggedy 9-holer out in the barren Kettleman Hills of California, miles from nowhere.  I had been left alone to manage the course while Dad tried to make the cut in some tournament. At age 13, I could run the pro shop fairly well, clean the pool and pick the range, but I was an awful bartender.  I was nervous stayin
Storytime

Rockbottum Radio: Tell it all, Brother, tell it all...

In this sensitive and revealing episode of Rockbottum Radio, the entire crew tells it all, aided by literary inspiration from Matt Jones and Peter McCormick... and Momma's Mushroom Truth Serum. Learn what really happened on Ludell's honeymoon and how Rockbottum plans to handle the ball rollback and Golf A.I.  Buddy returns from working on Science Interfusional National, an A.I. course, and then RW screws everything up by telling why he's been deliberately provoking the Imperials for 50
Rockbottum Philosophy

Our Most Important Film Ever

A few days ago, I slipped into a Mom and Pop coffee shop for a latte' and a blueberry scone.  (Ordinarily I'm not allowed to eat flour, but my handler was distracted by scented candles and Christmas lights.) The place was packed, full of people jammed next to each other, mesmerized by smartphones, tablets, and laptops; not a single soul looked up and took notice of me.   I could have been Genghis Khan on a zebra and only the barista would have noticed. Taking my coffee out onto the sid
Rockbottum Philosophy

Here It Comes

It almost feels like we are just sitting quietly while AI takes over our turf careers.  AI promises to help us work, but what if it intends to render us obsolete?  Shouldn't we at least offer some resistance? Contrary to popular narratives, Rockbottum Science states "AI does not think for itself, it's merely an improved algorithm."  If AI could actually think, we'd already be dead.  My Dad dealt with first generation AI, (Adolescent Imbeciles) and AI golf course personnel management was jus
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