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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

Ready For Post Big El Nino?

WARNING:  Contains no actual science, only anecdotal ravings of a madman.  Not responsible for migraines or drinking binge caused by reading this.   During my time on turf, I experienced several El Nino patterns and at least two were The Big Ones.  I didn't know they were El Ninos at the time, but I can look back at my extensive journals, cross-reference with the interweb and clearly see the tell-tale signs of Big El were there.   For me, El Nino was a pattern of winter rain, freight-trainin
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

You Learn Important Stuff From Working Golf

Early Saturday morning, about 0130hrs, I awoke to the scream of tires on our narrow and treacherous mountain driveway, followed by yelling and then pounding on our door.   I answered the door, wearing not much more than my headlamp, glowing red in the center of my forehead, thinking, "This is why I moved away from Atlanta."   A nervous young man stood staring into my red light, probably wondering what horror movie he had just landed in, then blurted out, "Help!  My truck is about to fall off
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

The Real Reason Rockbottum CC Skipped GIS!

Yesterday, as the Rockbottum crew enjoyed snow, high winds and cold, a famous Golf Course Superintendent called us from San Diego and taunted us with tales of warm sun, ocean breezes and 83 degrees.   To be polite, we pretended to be envious.  But the real truth is the endless parties, black-tie galas and ballroom dancing associated with attending GIS runs counter to our simple philosophy.   (Also, we hate hot weather, prefer snow and don't own any top hats and tails.)   But to show there'
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Terrific Golf Career Mistakes

While producing training films for Special Ops at Fort Bragg, I learned three important facts about training:   1.  You must show the trainee the proper techniques and procedures required to accomplish the mission.   2.  The trainee needs to see the negative outcome of not following procedures.   3.  You must add something unexpected, even goofy, to the training film, or the trainee will not pay close attention.     (In the military, lack of attention to detail was usually the result of
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

1

The Artie Hoosemun Incident

The following is a Ydnar Vengeance Bedtime Story rated For Golf Course Superintendents only.   Of all the complex problems the GCS faces every day, most can be solved by studying how others have handled that particular problem.  But, once in a career, along comes a problem so difficult, it requires advice from seasoned professionals . . . or the act of a madman.   Once upon a time, 40 years ago, Dad got entangled in the Artie Hoosemun Incident, and to this day, I still have not figured out h
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

3

Ludell on The Sissifyin' of Golf

Cousin Ludell expounds on his theory "The Sissification of The American Male Golfer", while Dave tests his prototype 'Rain Skirt for Golf' and Roy brilliantly figures out how to increase golf participation by not just thinking outside the box, but getting rid of the box.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

3

Rockbottum Pro Shop Employment Test

In an effort to attract younger employees to Rockbottum, (we're all over 50) we have abandoned the traditional written job application/background check/blood test (no one could pass those tests anyway) in favor of a newer, hipper, more "with it" kind of social media internet inspired video employment test.**   If you're up to it, take the Rockbottum Pro Shop Employment Video Test and see how you do.  Questions are worth 25 points, with a bonus question weighted at 50 points.   **Note:  This
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Please, Somebody Help Me

I need help.  No, not the psychiatric kind, too late for that.  I need advice from the most innovative problem solver on the planet, the Golf Course Superintendent.   For over a year, I've been engaged in a bitter struggle with my neighbors, an inconsiderate group of loudmouth, sex-crazed members of the Order of Anura.  What a bunch of toads.   Some durn fool constructed one of those waterfall ponds--yes, the kind I've been trying to ridicule out of existence in the golf world for 25 years--
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

6

A GCS Christmas Story

Our first Christmas with Dad as a pure Golf Course Superintendent was a little lean.  After several years of serving as a Pro/Super, the debt load was suffocating him.  At Dinky Little Fake Country Clubs--we survived four DLFCC in four years--the Pro/Super often had to finance the pro shop inventory, F&B, and golf maintenance supplies of a time-sensitive nature.   (The DLFCC business plan typically delayed non-essential items like fertilizer, irrigation and mower parts, while demanding tim
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

The 10 Years of Rockbottum Film Festival Winner:

On December 20, Rockbottum CC Films will be ten years old.     For the last few weeks, we have been holding a virtual film festival to display a few of our favorite films.   Today we present "Golf Techno-Phobia", as our grand prize winner.  This film not only summarizes the Rockbottum Theory of Golf, but manages to stir in our fear that technology has run amok and brought a new level of "sissification" to golf.   I have often repeated the wise words of A.W. Tillinghast regarding "the ideal
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Roy, Oscar and The Dragon

Rockbottum CC welcomes Oscar The Yellow Lab to the TurfNet family.   Meet Oscar in this short film that also questions the credibility of internet science.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

The Best Minds of TurfNet on The AGCS/Workforce Dilemma

The best minds of TurfNet have recently converged on the AGCS/Workforce problem facing golf, determined to offer a solid solution.     High-powered brains like Chris Tritabaugh, Dave Wilber, Brian Nettz, Matt Leverich, Ken Thompson, Brian Benedict and his ownself, Peter McCormick, have all stepped into the fray.   With the sharpest minds we have working hard to create a productive dialogue, it's only fair we should allow the dullest mind to weigh in . . . sort of a neural counterbalance.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Before You Buy A Drone This Christmas . . .

In October, the FAA announced a drone operator had been fined $1.9 million for "reckless" operations.   Drones will now be registered, so the FAA will know who to send to Gitmo when some doofus flying a drone in restricted airspace knocks down an airliner.   I know this is entirely possible, because for several years prior to the birth of the stabilized quadcopter, I experimented with various remote control (RC) aerial camera platforms.  As a registered doofus, (RD) I crashed them all, into
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Our Award Winning Film On GCS Stress

Released in 2007, the next film in our Ten Years of Rockbottum Film Festival won The Gardner Award, the turf equivalent of an Oscar for Best Picture.     "Stress Relief" dealt with the struggles involved in managing golf course operations while attempting to maintain health, sanity, and contact with family.     The film has a different feel than current Rockbottum films, mostly because our modern production pace calls for shorter, more frequent projects.  We try hard to synchronize with the
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

8

I Wish . . .

A few days ago, I went deep into the quiet, heavily forested mountains* of Appalachia to escape the technological cacophony of modern life.  While I was there, I made a wish . . . or two.   *Note:  If you are a forest and mountains person, I wish you would read my book, Eephus The Terrible.  TurfNet's own Matt Crowther reviews it on Amazon.        
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Fixin' Golf With Buddy

"You can't expect solutions from the people whose best thinking caused the problem in the first place." Albert Einstein   In another of our tragically overlooked short films, Buddy explains Point #3 of Fixin' Golf.  This film was not originally scheduled as part of the Ten Year Anniversary Rockbottum Film Festival, but circumstances* dictated we release it again.    *Note:  Apparently I irritated a couple of the Alphabet Elite types with my simplistic and inexpensive solutions to golf's cur
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

Dave Wilson in "Ten Years of Rockbottum"

Our Film Crew at Rockbottum Country Club operates just like our golf course crew:  Skeletal.   Everyone is cross-trained in several disciplines, on both sides of the camera, in order to keep things affordable and efficient.   In this Rockbottum 10 Year Film Fest entry, we highlight Dave, our audio tech, actor, stunt coordinator and occasional writer.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Why We Quit Using Soil Thermometers

Buddy, the owner of more formal turf education than anyone else at Rockbottum CC, used to handle all our science stuff, testing for micro-nubial bacteriums, fematoads and soil temps in spring.     Buddy has royal golf lineage, because he matriculated (allegedly) under the legendary Palmer Maples for several quarters at Gwinnett Tech.  Things went well for years, until one day, I got this feeling that . . . maybe Buddy had hornswoggled us with a fake academic history.   It wasn't the incompre
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

How To Obtain Golf Goats

Goats are becoming increasingly popular in golf course management, especially for maintaining difficult out-of-play areas.  Utilizing natural, organic practices--like goat rough mowers--establishes a link to the storied traditions of golf maintenance, when sheep mowed the short grass and designed bunkers.   Goats have a tougher image than sheep and are more likely to be accepted by hardened American golfers.   In fairness, however, sheep are probably fairly tough.  One of the most popular tr
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

The Film That Scored Us The Most Angry Mail

The film that received the most Non-GCS angry mail was "Our Balls Aren't Fun Anymore".   It went under the GCS radar because it was released while golf course personnel everywhere were busy aerifying, poa killing and repelling geese.  However, the film apparently provoked internet golf experts and two disturbed individuals claiming to be important Alphabet assets.     The critical reviews included such pointed observations as my "fake southern accent" and other enjoyable barbs that could onl
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

3

Teenagers Own The Night

Our Ten Year Anniversary Celebration rolls on.  Next up in The Rockbottum CC Film Festival of our favorite films that slipped by unnoticed:   "The Night Belongs To Charlie".   Learn the secret to dealing with nocturnal teenage vandals.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Ten Years After

We're coming up on Ten Years of Rockbottum CC television.  It's a major anniversary for us and it began in early December of 2005, when I was told to do a video version of my TurfNet column.   Buddy, Momma, Franklin Beaver and Ydnar began production on "Golf Cart Control" and released it two weeks later.  It's been a wild ride since then.  We tried to blend as many different styles of film as possible into an ever-changing format, while subjecting TurfNet viewers to various forms of subliminal
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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