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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

Study Reveals Top Role in Golf Biz

A recent study, published in Golf Digest, reveals the most important individual in the world of golf.   Watch the following Rockbottum CC Commentary to find out what it said without the bothersome task of reading the study.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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The Armored Possum

Most golf maintenance training videos are so dull they can cure incurable insomnia, but Here At The Rock, we strive to produce cerebral training films.   Rather than just handing out the information, our technique requires the viewer to think, to search for subliminal clues hidden in what would seem to be an ordinary conversation.   See if you can find the Two Teaching Points of this Rockbottum CC Training Film:   1.  How to help your Equipment Manager/Tech win TurfNet's TECH OF THE YEAR.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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The DeathMeter

Prompted by several very intelligent Stimpmeter comments on the TurfNet Forum, the following RockBottum Country Club VLOG sheds light on a possible strategy to suppress the spread of the POS. (Privately Owned Stimpmeter)   NOTE:  It was necessary to credit The TurfNet Forum, as very few intelligent comments ever originate from Rockbottum Country Club, especially where the POS is concerned.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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The Forbidden VinylGuard Experiment

Last week, Rockbottum Research Labs achieved a major breakthrough in the field of Protective First Layer Garments, or PFLG.   We have been under intense pressure to release our findings, regardless of the fact that our data analysis is incomplete.   We were prepared to publish our findings regarding our innovative work with the miracle element known as VinylGuard, until we became aware of a mysterious scientific anomaly while reviewing the video used for documenting the experiment.   As a
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Given Any Thought To Career Change?

If changing careers or early retirement has crossed your mind lately, perhaps you should take a look at the Top 3 Post-Golf Course Superintendent Careers as listed by Rockbottum Country Club TV.   NOTE:  Here At The Rock, our definition of "early retirement" means quitting work any time prior to being frog-marched off the golf course at gunpoint.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Fixin' Golf Point #7: Bring The Excitement Back

My relationship with golf goes back to 1958, when as a toddler, I walked into Auntie Grizz's vicious backswing and broke a jaw tooth in half.   There was no permanent damage, yet Auntie was devastated by the amount of blood.  Things looked bad at first, but after I managed to scrub the blood off and remove those little fragments of tooth, her beloved Louise Suggs 2-wood wasn't even scratched.   Golf in '58 was exciting for me, what with all the blood and running and screaming and Arnie and H
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Golf Course Priorities

Do you have your Golf Course Priorities in order?     Which comes first, the golf course, your career, your family or fishing while drinking high quality beer?  Or do all those factors intersect in your life like a complex trig equation?   Do you put agronomics in front of economics?   Are you as confused as we are?   If so, watch carefully as Buddy explains . . . something, we're just not sure what.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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The Two Types of Green Speeds

In Point 6 of The Rockbottum CC Plan To Fix Golf, (yes, I know we skipped Point 5, but it's taking a long time to complete) Buddy explains the Two Types of Green Speeds.   Type One is the measured speed of ball roll.     Type Two is the speed of the green's playability.     Some of the fastest greens have the slowest Type Two readings, due to the dreaded Ping-Pong Effect, Downhill Yip Syndrome and *Reduced Cup-ability.    *NOTE:  During periods of increased green speeds for member tourna
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Golf Course Patrol

Golf has changed.  The ball is different.  It stays in the air much longer than ever before.  Grooming standards have changed.  Golfer expectations have changed.   The golfer's equipment is highly advanced, as is the equipment used to prepare the course for play.   The game is infuriatingly slow now.  In the time we once played 36 holes, it's a struggle to get in 18.   Perhaps the one area that hasn't changed is in the way we interact with golfers on the course--maybe that's the weak link.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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The Charged Particle Beam Spray Rig

Inspired by John Reitman's article in TurfNetSports News about the miniZapr -- a lightwave frequency device -- Buddy isolated himself in his secret laboratory for over an hour to perfect  the Charged Particle Beam Spray Rig.   While the miniZapr is designed to kill mold, viruses and bacteria on athletic fields and locker room surfaces, the CPBSR, according to Buddy, kills moles, viruses and both forms of bacteria, the bad stuff and the mythical "good" bacteria.   Buddy is quick to point out
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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How To Use A Soil Thermometer

The following instructional video, "How To Use A Soil Thermometer", covers a wide range of essential golf course topics, including a couple of tips on alternative measurement devices.   Mystic Order of GreenKeeper CEU points:  13  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Let's Play Gotcha (a game Dad taught me)!

In my quest to fix golf, I have found it necessary to spend time in the realm of negative energy, analyzing what is wrong with the modern game...  in order to find a solution or two.  I am not happy in the vacuum of negative space, but I will go there to help turn golf around.   A good example of 'negative energy' damaging golf is found in the way a few of the state golf associations set up their amateur tournaments.     A few days ago, an amateur qualifier was held on a revered old golf clu
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Point 4 Of Fixing Golf: The Ultimatium

Moving forward, we present Point 4 of the Rockbottum Country Club Ten Point Plan to Fix Golf.   To give you some idea of how such brilliant strategy is conceived, we recorded an entire brainstorming session, revealing our critical path method for coming up with a good idea.   (The various alphabet agencies, foundations and associations of golf would do well to study our method.)   Anyway, listen in on a high-level tactical planning meeting of the Rockbottum CC Brain Trust as they stand up
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

3

Dead Batteries?

For as much as I preach the virtues of the GCS De-Stressor--the hobby or activity that releases job tension before, during or after the workday... I have only recently realized how guilty I have been of overlooking the most important De-Stressor: The OSV, or Off-Season Vacation.   I was one of those golf course superintendents who rarely took a vacation, preferring instead to squeeze in a day off here and there, letting the wife and kids go to the beach with other wives and kids, while I worke
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Buddy Delivers Point #3 of Our Ten Point Plan To Fix Golf

Buddy steps up with Point 3 of Rockbottum's Ten Point Plan for Fixin' Golf.   Ease up on the average golfer -- the guy who pays the bills -- by reducing the rough, inverting a few bunkers and slowing the greens down a little bit.   Rockbottum music video follows, to help clear any unpleasant memories inflicted by Buddy's overly simplistic analysis.    
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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How The USGA Can Defuse The Anchoring Controversy

The USGA is, as Buddy would say, "On the horns of an enema" in the current Anchoring controversy.   Their very existence is being challenged and the only way the USGA can remain in the driver's seat is to stiffen their spine and stand up to the rebels.   At Rockbottum CC, we're pretty experienced at standing up to unruly ruffians and scofflaws.    Therefore, we would like to offer our support to the USGA with a re-mastered training video that explains how to put an end to the whole mess.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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500 Applicants For One GCS Job?

A few days ago, I heard about a course in Georgia that received 500 applications for a superintendent position.  That's some serious competition, the same kind of numbers one would find trying to survive the selection process for an elite special ops unit in the American military. There's a secret to succeeding against those odds and I know what it is.  I witnessed the brutal attrition rate of the aforementioned selection process several times and eventually realized the one trait that all th
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

3

The Return of Ydnar

Ydnar, Randy's evil twin, somehow managed to extricate himself from the GCS Retirement Home and Asylum, several years before completing his sentence, and arrived at Rockbottum eager to deliver the thesis that earned him a PH.d (Post Hole Digger) while he was incarcerated at the GCSRH&A.   Ydnar's thesis is entitled, "The 10 Point Plan For Fixin' Golf" and while he personally delivers the first two points, we will have to finish it for him, as some folks in black suits came during the tapin
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Advice From The Skeletal Greenkeeper

Ludell Hogwaller, Rockbottum's Executive Film Producer and Cup Changer, recently decided to listen to suggestions from TurfNet Members and act upon the best ideas.   This is quite a change, as virtually none of the key people in management Here at The Rock, will listen to anyone on any topic.   Matt Jones, a GCS/GM who once worked at Rockbottum, (Matt was not the GCS here, his official title was DOGC, Destroyer of Golf Carts) made a recent demand for a weekly video advice column.   Ordinar
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

1

PAINLESS Golf Balls for Crew Safety

At Rockbottum CC, we are always looking for better, safer ways to manage the golf course.   Rockbottum's typically heavy play requires mowing during periods of peak play, so we have invested a great deal of time and effort in research intended to make the course safer for the crew.   Our current breakthrough in golfer/crew safety is the "PAINLESS" golf ball.   
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Rockbottum Answers The Fairway Stimp Question with Golf Musical Theatre!

One of those terrible habits I can't shake involves reading as many golf related websites as possible, every day, like one of those CIA readers, as depicted in Robert Redford's "Three Days of The Condor".   I prowl the net, studying golf trends and fads, analyzing the direction we are sliding, pushed by pundits, manufacturers, experts, ruling bodies and the opinions of average golfers on various forums.   Usually, if I read something stupid, I just cackle and shake my head.  If it's really b
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Recommended Rockbottum Reading

When the cold winds blow and the golf course wanders in and out of suspended animation, we here at The Rock like to put a few hickory logs in the fireplace and recharge our minds and spirits for what summer will throw at us.     Cable TV has long been banished from the realm of Rockbottum, so our favorite winter evening activity involves reading near the fireplace, hot chamomile tea, warm homemade bread and quiet music.   Our reading music is typically Ralph Vaughn Williams or George Winston
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Best And Worst GCS Hobby #6

The Best and Worst GCS Hobby #6 has been hidden on the shelf for several months, due to issues of censorship and good taste.   However, since good taste is not really an issue with Ludell . . . and Momma is too busy running the golf course to oversee every single Rockbottum CC training film, we hurriedly present:   "Backpacking for the Golf Course Superintendent."   
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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