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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

Storytime

Tales from the Night Waterman (2007)

The following is a reprint from 2007 for a special request. True confession:  I was a teenage night waterman.  It began innocently enough, with an impact Rain Bird fixation.  As a pre-teen golfer and offspring of a pro/super/general manager, my playing time often was compressed to that golden hour just before sunset when the big impact-driven sprinkler heads began to appear on the course. They stood tall, threw water over 100 feet and emitted a soothing, rhythmic noise that could be he
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Storytime

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Rockbottum Philosophy

Rockbottum Radio: A New Plan for Golf

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, a serious discussion breaks out amidst the usual goofiness, pointing out how golf is about to enter The Fourth Turning.  The Rockbottum gang attempts to prepare for the onset of anti-logic perpetrated upon golf by the Rad-Greens and other irrational, oxygen-starved attention seekers.  Join us for the brilliance of Ludell, Momma, Willy and Boof as they duel with a carpetbagger from out west somewhere.
Rockbottum Philosophy

They Seek To Divide Us

There are divisive forces among us, like the Anti-Golf protestors who descended upon a golf course up north in much the same manner as the traffic blockers in London or the farm occupiers in Holland. They portray golf as a bunch of carbon-drenched rich folks still living on plantations.  (Never mind that carbon dioxide only makes up a tiny fraction of the atmosphere and turning 200 acres of turf into free housing would mean even more asphalt hot spots and increased surface runoff.) Gol
Rockbottum Philosophy

Techno-Phobia, Back From The Digital Grave

Because a great many TurfNet villagers have never seen "Techno-Phobia", we gave a wad of money to a techno-shaman to resurrect a dead hard drive containing the film.  Dating back to 2006, Techno-Phobia is a collection of harsh predictions for the golf industry that have since come true. We re-released it for several reasons, the first being our reply to golf industry writers--with no experience as superintendents--who doggedly preach the glorious future of tech while simultaneously attempti
Boots & Ruck Films

What Coffee Does Momma Really Drink?

Rockbottum CC is overrun with unrepentant coffee snobs.  Momma, Willy, and Ludell drink only one brand of coffee and only through a stainless steel French Press.  Exactly what coffee Momma buys has been classified for years, but recent security leaks threaten to reveal our dark secret to the unwashed public, especially those consumers of instant, freeze -dried and that stuff that came in C-Rations. To get ahead of the story, we released this short film, before Buddy could put his spin
Rockbottum Philosophy

They Want Their Clutter Back

In this short film, Willy of Rockbottum reveals the real reason you might not want to skip pulling cores this year.  Also, Rockbottum News will avoid controversy this summer and stick to kinder, gentler subjects like . . . those pro tour cupcakes, the ugly rumors that golfers are demanding the return of tee clutter, and the truth behind the uptick in golf course fightin' and brawlin' and harsh language.  
Skeletal Golf Theory

Got Rock Trouble?

Rock trouble on the golf course can be a real challenge.  From granite outcroppings in the fairways to boulders in the wrong place, rock can be . . . hard.  On several courses near Stone Mountain, Georgia, we battled turf-killing, reel-dinging, golf ball flinging, tine-breaking, PVC-rubbing rock for decades.  The rock always won. Even the giant excavators were impotent when facing big, hard rock.  Oh, sure, we tried dynamite, but golf course neighbors had a tendency to complain and call the
Rockbottum Philosophy

Are You Using Filters?

A few days ago, I discovered people have been using digital filters to enhance their online appearance and dating marketability.  This is pure deception, as some of these filters are capable of structural alteration, moving facial bones around like some kind of tikkity-tok plastic surgeon. Online filters remind me of something that happened decades ago, during my first tour as an assistant superintendent.  We were in an inflationary economic cycle and it was fiscally necessary to have a roo
Rockbottum Philosophy

Rockbottum Radio: We Tried to Warn Us!

In this episode, RW gets tangled up in AI when he tries to use Chat-GBB to write the radio show and that failure results in a spirited rant aimed at those we entrusted with getting out the water conservation message. Just as the way forward is revealed, Count Noomskool of the World Globalar Golf Forum arrives and waves huge sums of money at Momma, in order to subjugate Rockbottum CC's verboten individualist attitude.
Skeletal Golf Theory

Khaki Pants on Parade

A new Rockbottum film has surfaced:  "Khaki Pants on Parade." While we were trying to shoot a pleasant little film entitled "Downrange with RW", one of my extra personalities got loose and hijacked the whole thing.  Momma could have stopped it, but she enjoys a good tirade . . . especially when it targets that Khaki Pants Crowd.  Must be the time of year.   
Rockbottum Philosophy

Know These New Rules for 2023

Recently, Fester N. Boyle, our Club President, and our Head Pro Hugh Jass Bedendorfer, withdrew Rockbottum CC from USGA membership and joined the PGHA, or "Progressive Golf Handicap Association."  The PGHA has designed friendlier, more progressive golf rules to help equitably grow the game, as opposed to the hidebound, stuffy old USGA/RAA rules.  They have also included rules to help guide the Golf Course Superintendent toward a more inclusive and safe golf course environment. Fester and Hu
Skeletal Golf Theory

Rockbottum Predicted The "Reset"?

In this short film — originally produced six years ago — Rockbottum CC predicted "The Reset", long before Klaus and his cronies went public with their version. In Part One of Skeletal Golf Theory 101, we took a hard look at the "business" of golf.  We did not rely on data, just anecdotal analysis gathered over 50+ years in all facets of the industry. As our economy reacts to the latest spending spree carried out by politicians, perhaps it's time to study SGT 101. You just never know.
Podcast

Rockbottum Radio: 3 Tales from the Rockbottum Vault

Rockbottum Radio presents our annual Halloween broadcast, with not one, but three spooky golf stories.  These stories are full of scary messages and at least one real good golf course management tip, so send out the crew, close the office door and settle in for some golf trauma as only Rockbottum CC can share.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

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Rockbottum Philosophy

The Vandals Are Coming

When the Visigoths, Ostrogoths, Huns, and Norsemen invaded, they typically came during the day.  But the Golf Vandals are an entirely different bunch.  A cowardly, mindless tribe, the Golf Vandals favor the cover of night.   Agitated by their ever present hand-screens, they can quickly become hysterical when faced with reality. You can use techno-wizardry to neutralize the GV, but remember:  While they are easily frightened, they will return in greater numbers. NOTE:  The counter-measu
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Rockbottum Philosophy

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Rockbottum Philosophy

Return of The Brass Monkey

One of the most brilliant Rockbottum films ever produced was "The Brass Monkey Alert", shot somewhere around 13 years ago.  Suppressed by powerful forces in golf, the film was banished to the cold darkness of the censored TN film vault, along with that film we made about a magazine. But now, emboldened by modern times and a crusty "I don't care anymore" attitude that comes from hitting a certain age, we are unleashing The Brass Monkey once again.  Watch to the end to learn some important ti
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Rockbottum Philosophy

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Rockbottum Philosophy

Backyard Bentgrass

In the "And Now For Something Completely Different" category--because it's unhealthy to obsess on the digital hysteria currently being poured into our skulls--here is some comedy.  We went deep into the Rockbottum Vault and extracted a film that we've kept hidden for many years.  If you are unable to laugh at this, you don't need a doctor, just delete Tikkity-Tok, Space-Book, Tweety, and stop carrying that phone around like it's some kind of life support system.    
Podcast

Rockbottum Radio: How Did We Get HERE?

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, Rockbottum CC's latest hire prefers to work from home, inflation takes a toll on course operations, and RW shifts his customer emphasis from thrifty golfers to the elite class.  A run-in with royalty leads RW to wonder how we got here.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

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