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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

Rockbottum Philosophy

Mental Toughness in the Heat

Every few years, it gets hot.  This thrills the mass media because it allows them to pound the fear drums and increase their ratings.  So, whenever it gets warm outside, we release a training film full of helpful tips designed to strengthen mental toughness in the heat.  As a bonus, here is a column from ten years ago, explaining our most valuable strategy for dealing with the heat: The 100 Days of Hell Actually, it's more like 120 days for those of us trapped on a bentgrass plantation
Skeletal Golf Theory

The Birth of Skeletal Golf Theory

In the early summer of 1969, Dad took the reins of Polvadero Country Club, an emaciated crispy nine-holer located in the dry and dusty Kettleman Hills near Coalinga, California.  Destined to be the Head Pro, GM, GCS, and Bartender--that last one was kind of tough for a non-drinker--he took immediate action. First, Dad evaluated the staff, which consisted of Fernando, age 35, who also worked close by at a cotton farm; in addition, there was 14 year-old me, a fairly useless, easily distracted
Skeletal Golf Theory

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

California's ill-considered attempt to convert municipal courses to affordable housing is expertly explained by John Reitman in a recent news article featuring Craig Kessler of the Southern California Golf Association.  Craig played a key role in helping to defeat the bill, defending municipal golf and citing the critical role the muni plays in recruiting future players.  In Reitman's article, Craig said, " . . . municipal golf is the meat and potatoes we all grew up on . . ." That's a smoo
Podcast

Rockbottum Radio: Got N? Plus, the Perfect Job Interview, and Homeowners Hit by Balls

In this episode, RW and the Gang reveal how to get nitrogen, along with a short demonstration of the perfect job interview and included is an extremely in-depth segment of Unfiltered News.  Storytime is a conflagration of Homeowners hit by Balls and if you stay to the very end, you will be rewarded with information that might save your turf from thinning like my hair.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

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Rockbottum Philosophy

Find Work/Life Balance

In this rather insensitive film, Momma crashes her bike, Buddy reveals his true name and the secret of his success, Tiffany tells a horror story, Bodell and Jimmy Cole explain why they jumped off the assistant superintendent ladder and Willy details how the Wilsons survived decades of pressure golf through existential mountain biking. Learn how you too can ride the mountain bike to attain improved mental stability, physical wonderfulness and at the same time, attract assistant superintenden
Rockbottum Philosophy

Get The Happy Prescription

At Rockbottum CC, we have been hopelessly addicted to opiates of the endorphin variety for decades. * See the Rockbottum Blog post "Exercise, Brain Function and Depression" column and attached films dated August of 2019 for actual science talk. Endorphins, generated by the brain, are the safest, most effective mood enhancement drugs available, although there are certain corporations that would prefer you did not know that.  In the past, these companies were successful at suppressing the use
Boots & Ruck Films

Flappin' & Honkin'

In our constant search for inner peace on the golf course, we offer this film from our Boots & Ruck division, entitled:  "Flappin' & Honkin' ". Normally, our stories from the military days are off-limits, but there was just no other way to impart this particular piece of wisdom without data-mining the trauma zone in my skull.   So lace up your boots, shoulder your rucksack and come along for some campfire coffee, philosophy . . . and a tiny little woodstove. No instant cof
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Boots & Ruck Films

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Rockbottum Philosophy

The Positive/Negative GCS Ratio

The owner of Rockbottum CC, Ludella Hogwaller, AKA "Momma",  is always stressing the importance of a positive attitude, a positive work environment and presenting the golfer with a positive golf course.  She even has algae-rhythm formulas to determine if the staff is positive or negative. Momma says two negatives can make a positive.  She proved this by changing Ben, our mean and surly golf course dog, from a negative ratio into a positive.  Momma had Ben's two negatives removed and he beca
Rockbottum Philosophy

Campfire Coffee and American Cupcakes

In this short film, RW explains how not to make an American cupcake and offers up a recitation from Old Uncle Lladnar.   As weakness continues to spread across the land,  we hold to our position of strength, remaining firmly grounded in our Rockbottum Philosophy, "Read a book, not a screen." If you don't have an actual book at hand, we suggest visiting Rockbottumfilms at the link to the right.  Our current best seller is  "Lost Hound of Raven Gap" an adventure set in the mountains of N
Storytime

The Four Horses' Posteriors

It's Storytime.  Once upon a time, long ago, a country club way out in the boonies--where Dad was the Pro/Supt/GM--held a combined Halloween golf tournament/debutante ball and squirrel cookout.  As Dad was usually reluctant to attend such glitzy affairs, I was instructed to represent him.  Since I wasn't old enough to drive yet, Dad left me behind to close up the pro shop and the maintenance barn--it was an actual barn--plug in the carts, clean the pool and keep an eye on things.  His exact inst
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Storytime

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Skeletal Golf Theory

Rockbottum Radio: Skeletal Secrets for Great Greens... and other Turf Blasphemy

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW finally reveals all of his Skeletal Golf secrets for great greens (Bent or UD) along with the backstory explaining why they were kept secret. The Mad Golf Prophet offers up his Last Prediction ever and confesses how he knew this supply line dislocation was coming. Finally, a Halloween tale for Storytime that is too spooky, even for Rockbottum.
Storytime

Buddy's Mask Experiment

In this time of turmoil and division, we offer something to bring us together:  Rockbottum Storytime. Thirty years ago, Buddy began to wonder which mask was more effective.  Was it the common dust mask?  The surgical mask?  Or perhaps the trusty bandanna?  It had nothing to do with spraying or virus prevention or looking cool, it was entirely due to Buddy's office trouble.  Located next to the crew restroom, Buddy's office was plagued with sudden waves of a malodorous stench capable of pene
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Storytime

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Podcast

Rockbottum Radio: Are You Ready for a Change?

In this episode, RW and the gang deliver an emergency warning about an Army Worm invasion, reveal our progress in golf course robot evaluations, discuss the big change coming in golf and explain why those folks at The Masters need a wall. In "Storytime" we tell about our favorite time on the golf course. Presented by DryJect.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

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Skeletal Golf Theory

Invasive Species

In this cerebral film on Skeletal Golf Theory, Dave Wilson reveals a new way to recruit the next wave of golfers, while other Rockbottum CC inmates pile on with their wisdoms, tips and helpful hints. Momma demonstrates her highly efficient, low cost, environmentally friendly method for dealing with Invasive Species.  
Podcast

Rockbottum Radio: A Failure of Leadership...

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW reveals an important secret to leadership success, while Jelsik gets a rough mower stuck in the lake and Boof loses his radio. Cletus is forced to put those nasty water jugs back out, Ludell makes his illegal mushroom burgers again and the beer cart driver quits. Momma inspects the bunkhouse and the winner of The Turpentine Corncob is announced.  Just a normal day at Rockbottum CC. Presented by DryJect.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

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Buddy and Randy Retire From Golf

On this episode of Rockbottum CC, (the longest running webisode on the whole dang internet) a mysterious leak at Jelsik Muldoon's GMO lab results in retirement fever sweeping over Rockbottum.  Roy Dell takes advantage of the crisis by attempting to gain control of the club while Willy prepares to hand over the reins of power to Bodell and Jimmy Dell, who have encountered the secretive head of an evil organization known as Turftruth or TurfPoof--hard to determine because they exist only on t
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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When The Police Show Up . . .

1969, Southwest of Fresno:  It was nearing midnight on a chilly Friday in October, when an old school bus rattled into the driveway of the Polvadero Country Club, a nine holer out in the middle of the nowhere known as Kettleman Hills.  The bus was loaded with high school football players being delivered home after an away game in Kerman.  Fernando the driver was skillfully circling the empty clubhouse parking lot when his headlights swept across a woman standing alone, holding a shotgun at port
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Rockbottum Radio: "A Fool's Name is Like His Face . . ."

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW discusses working for corporations and the increasing complexities of lengthy supply line disruptions in modern times.   Ludell returns from the future to explain how Gen Z solved the problem of professional politicians... and reveals what golf can expect from corporate water tech. In Storytime, RW tells the tale of his first encounter with corporate indentured servitude:  Woolworth's. Presented by DryJect.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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