One of those terrible habits I can't shake involves reading as many golf related websites as possible, every day, like one of those CIA readers, as depicted in Robert Redford's "Three Days of The Condor".

I prowl the net, studying golf trends and fads, analyzing the direction we are sliding, pushed by pundits, manufacturers, experts, ruling bodies and the opinions of average golfers on various forums.

Usually, if I read something stupid, I just cackle and shake my head.  If it's really bad, I call Momma to come look at what some brilliant thinker spewed forth.

But when I read something dangerously stupid, I have to point at it and yell out a warning, like when you point at bear droppings on the trail.  

Today, I read a suggestion for golf course superintendents use a fairway stimpmeter to help us learn fast and firm, to teach us to avoid the temptation to soak the fairway.

As if we want to soak the fairway.

So, my response is contained here, in a manner every bit as sensible as the suggestion to stimp fairways.  Rather than fairway stimping, let's have Golf Musical Theatre!