This month's Turpentine Corncob Award goes to a shoe company.  I am reluctant to say their name, for unlike other golf industry news organizations, we have a big sister publication that likes to sell advertising to folks that make golfer stuff.

I do not wish to anger ad sales people, for they can be fiercely territorial, so I will just say this:  There are golf shoes out there molesting greens.  I will call them "A" and if you give me a few minutes, I will offer a strategy to deal with these abominations.

I don't hate "A". In fact, I purchase a lot of their stuff and heartily recommend their football cleats, as they make the best cleats in the business for defensive backs.  (When I say football, I'm not talking about that sport that trains actors.)

But, their golf shoes are a problem, especially for greens after a heavy rain, greens mowed below .100, greens subjected to corporate outings and greens on golf courses.

If I could offer "A" and the other shoe companies a gentle piece of advice, it would be the following:  Golfers don't need spikes.  We could get by with waterproof versions of a tennis court shoe.  I once shot low round in a tournament wearing a pair of Stan Smith tennis shoes, because I had forgotten my FJ leather/8mm steel spikes.

Golfers don't need spikes.  It's about balance, not swinging feet, tail and head.  I've seen guys wearing flip-flops destroy expensively shod opponents and I'll bet there are several golf course superintendents capable of doing that very thing.  Corey?

We don't need spikes to walk in the park, fling frisbees or mow the lawn.

The steel spikes produced wear patterns that resembled cattle trails.  They wore down cup placement areas, green entry and exit points, those paths between bunkers that led back to the cart, wooden steps, decks, cart dashboards and lumbar regions. 

It wasn't so much about the spike marks, although that's what people remember about steel--it was the wear.  If steel could wear down wood, just think what steel would do to bentgrass on a hot day.

When they came out with those dark ceramic arachnids, I began to worry.  I noticed folks unable to lift their feet, wearing arachnoidal porcelain razor wire on those same feet. Collateral spike damage intensified.

Were the shoe companies doing this intentionally, to punish us for banning steel?  If the struggle continues to escalate, will they manufacture larger nubs, multi-tentacled hobnails and more aggressive green molesting logging boots?

How do we respond?  First, consider this quote from Dr. Golembiewski:

"Photosynthetic efficiency of turf decreases 40% from HOC .156 to .125."

Second, let's talk to the golfers.  Explain the situation, using all the methods of communication.

If you are unsure how to approach a golfer and discuss a change in attitude toward spikes, watch this Rockbottum Training Film, in which we recreate one of our more successful encounters with a golfer wearing "A" spikes.