It's not you; it's me.
Anyone who watched TV during the ‘90s no doubt will recognize that paradoxical phrase that was made popular by the Seinfeld character George Costanza whenever he wanted to break off a romantic relationship that just wasn't clicking for him.
In an attempt to spare the feelings of some hapless woman, shallow George would give her the "It's not you; it's me" routine as an excuse to break up.
I am here today to do the same with social media, Twitter specifically. But unlike with George Costanza, this time, it really is you.
At the root of George’s issue was that any woman - other than Marisa Tomei - never stood a chance to measure up to his superficial standards, which often included a woman having a head of "thick, lustrous hair" despite the fact that he himself was balding. As he tried to soften the blow by taking the blame for the failings of the relationship, George truly believed the woman's deficiencies were the cause of the breakdown. The irony, of course, was that George, despite the shortcomings he saw in others, was himself the real problem.
Social media can be a useful and educational tool when used by those with a maturity level exceeding that of 8-year-old Eric Cartman. I use it to communicate news and webinar information relating to TurfNet, stay up to date with trends in turf management and to stay current with my true passion - college sports.
If you want meaningful discourse on social media, you best come armed with thick skin and an abundance of patience. As useful as Twitter can be, it also is a minefield beset with traps laid by trolls spreading misinformation and lies with the intent of swaying public opinion - often under the cloak of anonymity. And too many people today, especially those under 30, take what they see and read on social media as gospel. It's the result of a void now filled by 24-hour cable news. Rather than a true, objective news source, we get entertainment and opinion from both left and right, not facts. As someone who has spent parts of five decades in the news business, I can honestly say the media today have abandoned us.
In a presidential election year, one in which the incumbent is a polarizing personality, social media is on overload. Everything is politicized by both sides when the prize - the White House for the next four years - is so great. Masks are politicized. The decisions made by public officials to keep us safe during a crisis are politicized. Whether you want football to return in the fall is politicized.
This year has been unlike any other. It is impossible to overstate the mental health effects of a pandemic, the quarantine that accompanied it and the economic uncertainty that has followed. Nearly 11 million people worldwide have tested positive for the virus and a half-million have died as a result. The mental stress and fatigue it has caused, however, has affected hundreds of millions if not billions of people across the globe.
When I talk to real, live people - which is mostly on the telephone these days - I was getting the sense that the virus was helping us all put things into better perspective. That we appreciated family, friends and relationships, all the things that really are important in life, and were becoming a little more kind to others than we were before the quarantine.
Social media is a cold reminder that the world still is filled with a lot of misguided hate and anger, and the media iterpretation is presented in a way not to supply us with facts, but to sway our opinions. That's not news, that's propaganda.
Just recently, a friend sent me a text stating that his wife told him that the disinformation on Twitter was making him too grumpy and that he should consider a break from it, or she might consider a break from him.
Clearly, there is no guidebook on how to use social media or how to navigate your way through it. We're all left to write our own. For now, that means backing away, other than helping manage the TurfNet account. It means liberal use of Twitter's blocking function.
As a communications junkie, I believe words are important. Say what you mean and mean what you say were sage words of advice when I was in journalism school. The motto of the E.W. Scripps Co., the mass media outlet for which I once worked, was "Give light and the people will find their own way."
In other words, give people the facts and they will form their own opinions. That is the rock that journalism was founded upon. Sadly, those words don't mean much today. The media today is, at its best, comprised of talking heads spouting opinions. At it's worst, it includes anyone with a cell phone, tablet or laptop who can publish anything, any time, even if it is factually incorrect, misleading or malicious in intent. Ethics have taken a vacation.
One of my Twitter rules is self-imposed restraint on posting too much personal information. Most of my private life is not for public consumption, I respect my family too much for that. Besides, when push comes to shove, I know you don't care anyway. That doesn't stop some, including a few in the turf world, from going overboard on sharing of personal information, and even using social media as a virtual therapy session to air every personal demon.
Indeed, the "look at me" mentality can be overwhelming.
Like my friend who was given an ultimatum by his wife, I do not care what anyone's opinions are of the virus, or the protests. I do not care what people think about the president or his presumptive opponent. All I want are facts, and I'll form my own opinions. And I've blocked and muted more than 300 users to prove it. And I promise not to try to sway your opinion either, with the exception of asking people to disengage from spreading misinformation.
So, for now, Twitter, I'm sorry, but we have to go our separate ways. It's not you; it's me. Well, OK, this time, it really is you.
